Sunday Sermon: I think they’re hiding

rapturePssst … are they gone yet? The Rapture was apparently scheduled for earlier this week, and apparently nobody got zapped up to heaven, but the failed prediction got me thinking (often a bad idea), which led me to Big Idea No. 1:

What if Christians decided to stage their own fake Rapture, just to get people thinking? A school in California recently staged the deaths of several students (with those students’ cooperation, but without any others’ knowledge), arranging for the kids to stay home and then announcing to the students in school that the absent kids had been killed in drunk-driving accidents.

The incident backfired, but maybe the Rapture Ready folks don’t know that (or don’t care). They could put out the word that on a given day, Christians should just take a detour on the way to work or school or the supermarket and head to pre-arranged hiding spots for a few days, just to get people thinking the Rapture had really happened, and ponder their own existence and all that.

And that idea led to Big Idea No. 2, inspired by Douglas Adams’ tale of the planet of Golgafrincham in the “Hitchhikers Guide” books, where a spaceship full of middle managers, marketing consultants and other useless wastes of oxygen are blasted off in a spaceship, after being fooled into thinking everyone else will be right behind (trust me, it’s funner in Adams’ telling).

Here’s the idea: What if, instead of the fake rapture being organized by Christians, it was organized by atheists? And what if we just “forgot” to tell the Christians when it was time to come out again?

(cartoon via Atheist Nexus)

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by pdxlibn on September 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    What if it really did happen earlier this week but, it turns out, NOBODY is rapture-worthy.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Gordon on September 27, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    The Rapture would really be one of those good news/bad news things…

    Good News: The Religious nuts are gone, we are free

    Bad News: Their SkyGod turned out to be real, and he’ll be along later to smite us.

    It’d probably still be worth it. We’d have a Secular Earth before we died and that’s not nothing!

    Reply

  3. Posted by Paul on May 15, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    To all non-belivers of JESUS CHRIST THE RISEN LORD GIVEN TO US BY MY LORD GOD IN HEAVEN: No matter what you say, no matter what ugly remarks and thoughts you will have, no what you believe, you are being decieved by satan and you’ll burn in the lake of fire with him someday.

    JESUS CHRIST THE RISEN LORD IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE AND NO MAN COMETH UNTO HIS FATHER (OUR LORD GOD) EXCEPT THROUGH HIM.

    You don’t believe because satan forces you not to believe. And someday, when you’re burning in that lake of fire and know the truth, the GOD YOU REFUSED TO LOVE AND BELIEVE IN, will not know you and never will. I hope life on this earth is worth eternal damnation.

    You can hate me for writing this, and say what you will and write hateful things back, but your words don’t harm me. GOD IS MY DEFENSE. I’m writing in hopes that someone will seek the LORD GOD with all their hearts and accept JESUS CHRIST THE RISEN LORD AS THEIR LORD AND SAVIOR before it’s too late.

    One last thing: Ever burn yourself with hot water or with fire? Hurts, doesn’t it. Imagine burning eternally in a lake of fire, screaming in agony forever, and there will never be no end. All because you let the devil win your soul by decieving you with lies. good luck to that.

    Paul Flanagan/ PROUD SOLIDER AND BELIEVER IN MY LORD GOD IN HEAVEN THROUGH JESUS CHRIST MY RISEN LORD FOREVER!!!

    Reply

    • Posted by brachinus on May 15, 2010 at 2:24 pm

      Nice try, “Paul,” but I’m calling Poe. I got fooled once with that whole Christwire business — not again!

      Reply

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